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Communication

Working with children can see you help future generations

As young parents, when our daughter qualified for baby class, the excitement was in the air. In the vicinity of our home, in all sorts of billboards from the recycled-tin charcoal-inscribed to the digital, a myriad of preschools advertised themselves. It seemed easy to choose one within a walking distance where we thought we could save on transport. That was until after three weeks after enrolling our daughter, the then barely three-year-old came home with bleeding claw-like scratches on the back of her hand. All she could say was, “daddy, teacher! Teacher!” She said pointing at the bloody-red scars on the back of her right hand.

A couple of years before the incident, I had decided to settle in Uganda with my newly wedded wife. Born, bred, and educated in the neighboring Kenya, the excitement of a new environment was overwhelming. I had not figured out the cultural shock that would come in waves crashing savagely on the sea shore. To a newcomer, Ugandans may seem outwardly disinterested. This is until you realize that some of those who seem so disinterested – and who you only know in passing – know your name, your wife and her name, the names and number of children you have, what you do for living, where you take your children to school, where you were born, and so many other things, some of which you barely remember. Similarly, some people who may show interest in you, actually have no interest.

So, when I registered my child for preschool, I had not suspected that people who seem so disinterested can be so interested! Every time I arrived at the school’s gate, a lady, who I assumed was the teacher, would meet us and greet us so well. Within two weeks I had developed an attachment with this young lady for her caring attitude and concern for my daughter. You see, I am not the randy male, I treat both genders alike. During this same time I noticed a very disinterested lady, who would appear in the background apparently busy with other things, who actually turned out that she was the actual teacher of my daughter. The one who received us was the assistant to this disinterested lady. This disinterested lady is the one who actually ended up presiding over the abuse of our innocent daughter.

The day my daughter was assaulted, I saw this disinterested lady – or let us just call her a twenty two year old woman mother of one – just after I handed my daughter to the hands of the assistant. I was standing at the school gate where no parents were allowed to pass. I absentmindedly handed the assistant some cash tip and I walked away, slightly noticing this disinterested woman in the background. That evening my daughter came home crying and saying, “look, teacher, teacher!” Pointing to bleeding hands. I remember weeping bitter tears as I was disinfecting her. What came into my mind was the image of the allegedly cannibal Idi Amin who ruled Uganda in the 1970s. Fear clawed under my skin.

But what amazed me more is the disinterest that the school management showed. Incredibly, they ‘requested’ that I drop the case and leave it to them. Furthermore, they expected that we continue sending our daughter to the school as they dealt with the issue. A local administrator who used to by-pass me without saying hello, said hello for the first time, and softly told me that I ought to drop the case. At the church, we shared the trauma but not even the pastor had an idea of what could be done. We forgave the offending teacher and school but withdrew our daughter. We managed through the entire nightmare through prayer.

The trauma that my wife and I went led us to start a Child Protection Social Action (CPSA) program whose first project is to develop an Early Childhood Education Manual to be available online to all caretakers. The project’s challenges include a shortage of volunteer-researchers and writers in early childhood. Also in due course, we have encountered children who, in the first place, do not have the privilege of early childhood education because their parents have not taken them to school. It occurs that we had underestimated the task. To participate in the CPSA program – as a donor or volunteer – get in touch.

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Communication

How My First Therapeutic Massage Experience Inspired My Home-Based Business in 2023

Massage-refreshed writer

I recently had a first in a long time. I remember the first time I flirted with nostalgia because it was an experience to behold. One that became part of my boyhood and young adult narrations in high school dormitories on the slopes of Mt Kenya. I must have narrated that first flirting experience to my close friends as a way of opening up my vulnerabilities. 

Joining a boarding high school at 14 and coming from a humble background, it took one year to summon the courage to flirt. The bittersweet experience occurred during a music fest at a nearby girls-only school. Guilt out of the brand of pentecostalism that I grew up in – HIV and AIDs was a rumor then – that frowned at, and warned of, flirting among teenagers. The sweet smile from the girl, however, broke the bitter barriers.  

Although my boys were always sharing stories of successful flirting, the fear of rejection that persisted had seen me lose countless opportunities with girls. The first flirting experience happened involuntarily, it was a reflex action directed at, according to me, the most beautiful girl my eyes had seen yet. An approval from her meant heaven. I can still perceive my heartbeat rate then, it was double the normal, I believe.     

Apart from flirting, my recent first in the year 2022 has been therapeutic massage. The experience that has summoned my courage to glance at my previous firsts. Some, like my first coital experience, may never be narrated anymore – unless moments like this occur. 

My perception of massage came from the initial internet sensationalized happy-ending-type massage services. So, when I began volunteering at my local church, the expanding network led me to a lovely middle-age couple who were setting up a therapeutic massage service in the neighborhood. 

With accumulated skills in therapeutic massage’s art and science, the couple had decided to retire relatively young to their own practice. Being my mentors coupled with my want for adventure, the 60-minute free offer valued at US$ 17 was irresistible. Besides, I wanted to find out whether it was worth the time and the money.

Loose clothing outfit, lying on my stomach, I let go. Being entirely under the massage therapist’s expert arms, did not help my mind wandering. I did not want anything, but time and the 17 bucks, between me and the therapy. Actually, the 60-minute appeared far less and – yes – it was undervalued. Perhaps the converted home garage helps reduce utilities, including rent, expenditure.

Human body is an awesome edifice, joined by piston-ring-like crevices in the most unexpected surfaces. Mere words are insufficient for the bittersweet experience. But if you insist, take your combination, in no particular order, from: healing, renewal, discovery, pain, relief, tension, ohh, ahh, eeh, iii, ooo, uuu, relaxation, deep, and so on. 

Since then, I have had no reservation referring to therapeutic massage to – literally – everyone. Today as I head for my second session, it has dawned on me that 17-bucks-an-hour is possible in my neighborhood. I have stopped seeking to replace my home garbage collector for the, hitherto, exorbitant 17-bucks-a-month. If therapeutic massage can, my home-based communication business will – Isn’t communication integral to existence?                        

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Communication

Milestones and Fond Memories: My Happiest Memory

I had just finished my Advanced Level (A-Level) examinations and one of my wishes was to obtain a  government scholarship to pursue journalism at the local university. A previous application had been turned down due to a lack of A-Level qualifications and I was hopeful of a second attempt. Two A-Level principal passes and a subsidiary were the minimum requirements for the government scholarship. The results were due the morning of Monday, October 10, 2022, and the anxiety was high. I had kept myself busy volunteering at the local administrator’s office offering copywriting and transcription services. On the particular morning that the results were due, I had just arrived at the administrator’s office waiting for the secretary to provide me with the day’s tasks. A huge government-registered double-cabin pick-up, a Toyota Tacoma, pulled up in the parking lot overlooking the office that we had occupied.

“Who is that big shot?” I asked the secretary, unable to hold my curiosity any further. Since most Local Administrator’s visitors came riding bicycles or motorcycles, a double cabin Toyota Tacoma looked out of place or meant a big event for the day. “This is the governor,” the secretary replied without taking her eyes off the now-approaching VIP. I glanced at the outline of my reflection from my idle smartphone screen and adjusted my shirt’s collar, in an attempt to impress the Governor, who by then stood in front of the secretary, beside me. “You got a new hand, huh,” my heart skipped as the governor addressed the secretary while looking at me, his baritone voice booming across the office, attracting the administrator who had settled at his back office, who appeared from his office door. The Governor’s gaze remained with me, making me fidget in my seat, wondering at his immense interest in me. I touched the shirt’s collar as if to ensure that it was still in place. 

“What is your specialty?” the Governor asked, looking directly into my eyes. “I just completed my A-Level and I am hoping for a government scholarship for a journalism course at the university,” I replied, trying my best to make a good impression. “You must be one of the people I am looking for,” I wondered why the governor seemed impressed. The local administrator came to my aid, “I will let you have him if you assure me that you are going to have him in that government scholarship.” “Of course,” the Governor replied assuredly. Before I could utter a word, the local Administrator invited the governor and me inside his office where we slumped into the visitors’ seats. He opened one of his desk drawers and handed me an envelope. “These are your A-Level results,” he said as he handed me an envelope. I anxiously tore the envelope and glanced at the results: two principal passes and a subsidiary. I jumped out of my seat with joy as I handed the results to the Governor. I have never been so happy in my life.                

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Communication

Kampala, the Drivers City in Uganda

Kampala Downtown

Kampala, a 24-hour bustle and hustle city with a warm tropical climate, could borrow from the good old days in the countryside villages. Those are the days, in the now rapidly urbanizing villages when the footpath was a date venue, with lovers cuddling in the sunset with eyes wide open for the prying neighbor. I stepped out with a backpack on the dusty paths of much of the urban and suburban Kampala metro. You feel that the footpaths have become busy driveways and roads for the pedestrian majority. If you cannot afford paid club membership, forget about taking an evening stroll or jogging around the neighborhood.

The good old village path glittered to the lovers in the human social connection it afforded users and the relative privacy afforded by the dimming sunset rays. Kampala metropolitan city is a city of cars and mechanical connection through hooting engines, with sunset hidden behind the canopy of houses that block the ray’s access. At the base of the series of hills that form the metropolitan poor scramble for space while the few hilltops provide panoramic views of the gyrating countryside. With the diminished dating site for the average hill base resident, street dating opportunities have sprouted. These consist of twilight girls hunting the deprived alpha male. 

The booming sex trade in the lodges that dot streets and satellite towns is a courtesy of the death of the village path human connection. Given the diminished human social connections, commercial sex workers provide intercourse opportunities for pent-up (sexual) energy. Village paths on the other hand provided emotional-based social connection opportunities that served to preserve pent-up energy for better use in the garden for the farmers or fishermen and so on. Through the rehabilitation of public parks such as Uhuru park and city park and the integration of walking paths for the public transport corridors, the Kenya government must have realized the importance of providing the hill base residents with enough opportunities for daily interaction. 

Village path (Google images)

A friend explained the challenges that her young primary school daughter experiences when walking from home to a school in the neighborhood but on the opposite side of the busy Kampala Entebbe road. In the morning, she has to accompany her every day to see her cross the road. If not, the daughter has to walk for four kilometers (about two and a half miles) to the nearest pedestrian bridge in Kajjansi despite the half-kilometer distance between her home and school. By contrast village paths, like the footbridges, provided faster avenues for human social connection amidst the cacophony of singing birds. 

The fixation with fixing motorways and glorifying driving is not only killing the dating scene but also human spirituality. Prayer, for example, requires the undivided human senses which are impossible in Kampala’s bustle and hustle. Street preachers cut a figure of lonely crusaders with no one sparing thought at their drowning voices. The churches are running empty with reports of pastors and priests paying congregants to show up for Sunday services or to serve in the choir and so on. Besides, the increasing number of Christian divorce rates point to a couples’ mismatch occasioned by the diminished footpaths. A futuristic city like Kampala with a majority under 35 years requires more footpaths and public places.                       

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Communication

In Africa Pablo Escobar Gets a Free Pass, Anytime.

2022 Kenyan Campaign posters

African democracies are delicate structures that bend towards money and self-aggrandizement instead of vision and public service. Look at Kenya, for example, government-ignited defections have, within less than a month post general election, turned around an opposition-dominated legislature into a government-dominated one. The reigning government is popular with supporters who are enthusiastic about forgoing fuel and food subsidies because they believe in the leaders they elected.

Governments, especially populist-led, are never known to be people-friendly because governments are money-hungry. The more populist a government, the higher the need for money and hence the more the likelihood of punitive taxes. You will remember that Pablo Escobar used drug money to fund a successful attempt at Colombia’s senate to primarily protect himself. Once in power, however, public scrutiny’s reality could jolt populist leaders into the realization that some things are easier said than done.

Take for example the popular bottom-up economic model that brought the current Kenyan president to power. The country’s history is littered with bottom-up socio-political experiments in various shades and all have proven to be a mirage. Immediately after the 1963 independence, the immediate post-colonial independence government was split between those in favor of devolved units, then called Majimbo in local parlance, and those in favor of a stronger central government. 

The emerging stronger central government system that Kenya ultimately adopted after independence is credited for making the country Africa’s economic powerhouse without entirely compromising the bottom. In Africa, Kenya ranks among the developed economies with a World Bank classification of low-middle income countries. Nairobi is an international hub with a direct flight connection to New York through Kenya Airways. Kenyan professionals such as teachers, lawyers, doctors, nurses, and so on have better working environments and remuneration compared with their east African counterparts.

The current 2010 Constitution was a culmination of a two-decade-long stab at the bottom-up. Unlike the post-independence effort, the 2010 effort was successful. The ensuing jubilation, looking at the electioneering rhetoric that preceded the August 9th, 2022 general election, seems all dead. Watching the events unfold from the east African diaspora was a realization of the Kenyan dilemma: ‘rich government, poor people.’ 

When Nairobians visit other east African cities, they possess self-importance eerie that seems to say, ‘I come from a richer government than you.’ However, things on the ground could be different. Whereas the Nairobi government is richer than its east African counterparts, more Kenyans suffer hunger, deprivation, or segregation. It does not matter that the Kenyan is likely better educated because that has nothing to do with a social-economic lifeline. Kenyan politicians’ disdain for education is well known for their knack for buying degrees and diplomas from neighboring countries to enable them to qualify for elective positions.

In Nairobi, half of the population resides in slums, the majority built on road reserves and untitled land. The result of post-independence central government-led efforts at fighting ignorance and building capitalist-inspired economic foundations that led to rapid urbanization. The 1980s political upheavals provided an excuse for political power consolidation along the lines of a powerful central government. Government operatives were afforded political power to fight political battles rather than social battles to support public welfare. The resultant political intolerance broke down bottom-up in favor of political patronage. 

If the 2010 constitution that came from the need to return power to the people (bottom) has failed so far in doing so, the current bottom-up rhetoric is – to borrow from Kenya’s Chief Justice – hot air. But maybe it is the public perception of bottom-up that is out of touch with the ground. The 2010 constitution, for example, attempted to curb self-aggrandizing public servants by insisting on wealth declaration. However, Kenyan politicians and the electorate are always available to the highest bidder. Any Pablo Escobar is sure of a pass in African politics.                                 

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Communication

Will Smith and the Slap that Entertained the World and Left Him in Tears

Image: Google.com

The global entertainment scene will remember for a long time the 2022 Oscar awards when an earnest man got into trouble in pursuit of his solemn duty of protecting his family.

The Oscar awards imposed a 10-year ban on Smith. His wife pleaded for family healing and promised to make it public in due course.

While you cannot pursue your right of self-expression by interfering with those of another person, a few issues characteristic of the dilemma of the chicken and the egg stand out.

Smith’s reaction to his own action points to a spontaneous action as opposed to any deep-seated hatred for the veteran comedian. If he is to be believed he obviously needs help. So far there is no reason why not to believe him.

What about the sentiments that generated the slap? Was it the first time that the veteran comic was expressing similar or comparable sentiments in public? If so, he must have learned his lesson otherwise it’s time for him to retire from his art.

The veteran comic reaction so far has indicated nothing about what he thinks about the sentiments. He is ‘processing the event and will address them appropriately.’

Legal commentators have pointed to the complexity of any of the parties in building a solid legal case: in the absence of concrete evidence how much do you award for psychological damages such as distress?

Public opinion is divided right through the middle, with Smith’s supporters pointing to his solemn duty of protecting his family.

The value, if any, of Will Smith’s slap is, therefore, in the entertainment value that is provided.

In Africa, the attention that the slap brought to the 2022 Oscar awards is reminiscent of the 2014 awards when Lupita Nyong’o in 12 Years a Slave was a winner. 

Such attention is good for a body that has withered storms to preserve a culture through generations. It has also in the process helped the world to crawl towards the creation of tolerant peoples and societies.

However, the direct victims have remained unattended. A proper diagnosis would involve Will Smith and Chris Rock individually and together and would address fundamental issues as opposed to the symptoms.

The viral clip that circulated online showed Will Smith expertly delivering a perfect slap across the face of Chris Rock. The latter seems to soak it well accompanied it with a comic relief: ‘Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me!’

The laughter generated almost immediately dissonated with Will Smith’s outburst: ‘keep my wife out of your fucking mouth!’ 

And with that the 2022 Oscar award currency gained value. Laughter was replaced with tears, with Will Smith – who was also receiving his first Oscar in his elaborate career – tearfully apologizing to Rock.

The police explained that, in the absence of anyone pursuing the matter, their hands were tied. Smith and Rock and, by extension their families, went home in tears. 

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Communication

youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers…

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Communication

Why Africa Needs Stronger Opposition: Kenya’s 2022 General Election

Dr. William Ruto. Google.com

When President Barack Obama failed to have Hillary Clinton succeed him, he led a spirited opposition to his successor’s regime.

What the president failed to achieve while in office, he did it while in opposition.

Years after his enthusiasm played a pivotal role in President Biden’s victory, President Obama seems to have finally retired in peace.

The death of opposition politics in Africa is disappointing and costly to the poor nations.

Unlike in the United States, political parties in Africa move where the money is, not where the need is.

For his entire second term, for example, Kenya’s President Uhuru Kenyatta who is concluding his constitutional term limit later this year has run the country without active opposition.

In what could pass as a democratic dictatorship, President Uhuru Kenyatta’s handshake with the official opposition leader saw the pair run the country as a team.

The President disrobed his deputy while at the same time holding the hand of his erstwhile foe.

This way, President Uhuru Kenyatta transformed the limited president’s power to a completely new level.

While the president has a portfolio of awe-inspiring projects to brag about, such as in transport and communication, the people lost the voice of the opposition.

Natural justice bestows power to organized opposition to check the public system’s excesses. Without such opposition, public resources are jeopardized.

The epitome of freedom is the right to oppose or support without fear of retribution.

However, with the examples of Somalia and Libya, when the opposition itself is divided it may fail to liberate the people.

Unlike in President Obama’s case then, President Uhuru Kenyatta cannot afford to lose.

First, if he loses, President Uhuru Kenyatta’s influence after his presidency will fizzle out within days.

Unlike President Obama, opposition politics is too expensive for Uhuru Kenyatta’s business sense.

In any case, while Kenyatta’s background is in business, Obama was a community organizer. These backgrounds count their costs differently.

Secondly, if President Kenyatta’s candidate loses he will lead a fragmented opposition made up of a loose election-focused coalition of parties called Azimio.

A fragmented opposition will lead to a repeat of what is happening today, where the opposition conspires with the public system.

Thirdly and perhaps interesting, in the event that the president’s candidate wins, Kenya is likely to get the best opposition since independence in 1963.

While the first real opposition experienced in the early 1990s came with bloodshed, this time it will come with bottom-up ideology.

Led by the current Deputy President William Ruto, the bottom-up aims at providing incentives to the majority poor.

William Ruto’s shrewdness is evident in his cross-cutting demographic and ethnic appeal.

Even if he loses the election, Dr. William Ruto’s charisma coupled with the supporter’s base will be a major challenge to any system in power.

However, William Ruto’s rise to power is riddled with controversy. As a fresh graduate, he was a protégé of an autocratic regime president.

His first and most infamous political project was called YK92.

Although their task was to mobilize young voters, they were accused of acting as conduits of cleaning paper money that the then government printed to raise campaign funds.

While the effects of printed money have transcended generations, Ruto came out a wealthy man.

Although the public is not privy to William Ruto’s real estate portfolio, random media stories paint him as the richest among his peers.

Although he claims to be rags to riches, William Ruto is a product of ethnic patronage that was endemic in his time.

His prominence during YK92 can be attributed to his ethnic kinship to the then-president. People like him who belonged to the wrong tribes could not access the resources availed to him.

William Ruto is famous for right-wing political mobilization, Ph.D. in Botany, and background in Christian evangelism. He is a deft man who knows how to maneuver his way into privilege.

President Uhuru must have realized this when he chose William Ruto as his running mate two times.

However, President Uhuru only loses when he has to. His loss in 2002 enabled him to found a relatively stronger opposition that championed constitutional reforms.

His 2007 stepping down for President Mwai Kibaki enabled him to inherit Kibaki’s constituency, which he used to win in 2012 and 2017.

This time around, if the opposition is to survive, Uhuru Kenyatta may not have the luxury of losing.

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Communication

Unboxing President Putin: the Emerging Details of Ukraine’s Invasion

Courtesy image: “I am on my way to help Ukraine”

In President Putin’s actions this week, it is either that humanity is regressing or he is a specimen out of World War I and II time-space.

The President must have been disappointed by the response he got from his adversaries when he attacked Ukraine this week.

Clearly, Ukraine was just an excuse for a greater war project. The President is not even able to justify his surprise attack.

The President must have prepared for an all-out global war. If it were not, we would not be talking of Ukrainian civilians taking up arms to defend their government; they would have been whipped to submission in a matter of hours.

The President, assuming he is the one encapsulated in World War time-space, will likely find out that humanity has made leaps on all fronts.

Whereas the President would believe that he is a liberator, all global – political, economic, and social -indices indicate otherwise.

At home, Russia’s enterprises, given the global political ramifications of the President’s actions, are likely to find it hard to compete.

At the global scene, given the interconnectedness, the President will likely face public backlash. His legacy will be irreparably tainted.

Mr. President, FYI, the evolved humanity, as demonstrated by the pandemic experience, has an inbuilt demand for accountability and is global in span.

It would be difficult, even for the President’s traditional supporters, to support him this time.

The President’s curriculum vitae, especially his achievements in the KGB, are impressive.

His story, however, appears to be that of a person stuck in time and space.

Is it not amazing how, for example, people get stuck in the good old days to the exclusion of the glorious present or the hope of tomorrow?

Apparently, President Putin is attempting to relive the good old days in a fast-evolving global village.

Can mental illness affect a powerful President? During the reign of President Donald Trump, this issue was widely discussed. The answer is yes because presidents are human.

Narcissism, for example, an apparently harmless condition in which an individual thinks highly of himself to the exclusion of others, ends up hurting many people – family, friends, and associates – who transact with the victim.

A narcissist may, for example, be convinced of a call to liberate others from all sorts of real or perceived threats.

In President Donald Trump’s case, for example, some believed that his ego needed too much pampering for a person of his stature.

In the case of President Putin, the fear is that he believes that he is responsible for the fall of the greater Russia.

The President has not, apparently, forgiven himself for not preventing the fall of the USSR. Russians could probably love him for that. The world has, however, moved.

Whereas open system societies have mechanisms of checking leaders with extreme views, Russia, under President Putin, is not as open.

President Putin’s Russia criteria for selecting friends are, furthermore, unclear.

The President has, however, shunned relations with the West, preferring to retain much of the cold war rhetoric.

Putin’s African friends – themselves grappling with myriads of social, economic, and political challenges – will find it hard to support Putin’s priorities at a time when the pandemic is easing.

Supporting the Ukrainian people is the best that the world can do. It is said that the way a society treats its most vulnerable people demonstrates the kind of a society it is.

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Communication

What It Means By Once You Go, Black, There Can Be Turning Back

Kanye West: Google.com

The fact that Kim Kardashian is walking out of Ye’s life – and choosing a non-black person – negates the truth in the saying that ‘once you go, black, you ain’t turning back.’

With a person like Elon Musk gracing the launch of his latest music album, Kanye West’s charisma is in no doubt. West, who has since adopted a new name, Ye, is the global entertainment news.

At one time, President Barack Obama referred to him as a jackass. Lately, Ye is in a process of separating from his equally famous wife, Kim Kardashian.

If you were in high school before the internet became a basic right, you can remember the rumors that swirled around dormitories on weekends.

One such rumor, that eventually found its way to the internet, was that Ye, Kanye West at that time, sacrificed his mom in exchange for fame and wealth!

Today, the internet has enabled people to know that celebrities are ordinary mortals. If everything can be bought by sacrificing others, no one needs a day job.

Yet, if Ye gained anything from the alleged sacrifice, it must be the torment he is currently undergoing.

Ye’s psychological state has been termed as bi-polar. One of the wide range of psychological conditions that qualify as mental illness.

This is Ye, who wants back his former wife, Kim Kardashian, who has since moved on.

During the high school tales which were gleaned from torn copies of older international tabloids, one of the myths – as told by my high school dorm mate, juvenile at the time – was that once a lady fell in love with a black, especially an American black, nothing would make her turn her back on the man.

The icon of the American black male at that time was the legendary Chicago Bulls basketballer, Michael Jordan.

Michael Jackson, who had taken over the hip-hop industry by storm and a subject of intense gossip regarding his spirituality, had become a god of sorts.

Therefore, with the apparent departure of Kim Kardashian from Ye’s life, once you go, black, there can be a turning back.

However, while the context of this myth is debatable, it highlights the black community’s desire to develop generations of males that take care of their female counterparts, for there no to be no turning back of the female partners.

The separation of Kim Kardshian and Ye, the mental condition notwithstanding, exposes the challenges of the black family.

We are talking of two very rich and very famous people who have sired four children together.

Try to figure out what could be happening on the other end of the spectrum where you find very unremarkable and the very poor.

The context of the saying that once you go, black, ain’t turning back, in the context of our juvenile discussion in the high school dorm, was basically wrong.

In our juvenile wisdom, in those high school days, the sexual prowess – of the muscular, rich celebrity stereotyped black male – was the key to ain’t turning back.

As a result, we have a horde of males that look at females as sexual objects to please and to play with. While there is no problem with this, it comes with the risk of neglecting the full potential of female partners.

In any case, Kim Kardashian – known for her leaked porn video back in the days – would not have survived sexual starvation quietly for that long. In marriage, sex is something, not everything.