The Lady Who Knew How to Measure

This First World War story is the most interesting of many. It is about a lady. We are not told of age, race, ethnicity, or similar. That lady, described by a writer out a old torn newspaper page, was complaining. Most of the complains, like those at real or assumed haters, were to be expected. But when she lamented of misery, everyone paused. People thought she must have gotten in to a trance

Lake Kabaka Kampala Uganda.
Credit: maurice Consult

The said lady, an international public figure, is not of mean resources. The judge was all ears. The small group, not a crowd, was hushed. There was silence within the courtroom. Then she got her trance right. It was a beautiful story, sadly, of a despairing. The story is still doing rounds in dining tables generation after another. It talks about her, the lady.

The lady was persistent: we are talking about, my rightful, utils

A casual encounter a word like Utils will probably lead you to a ballpark, big word this one, etymology. Don’t worry, just a big word. No sources need to be quoted because you do not need it. But if for reasons of adventure you decide to take that route, let us explore. We have time, don’t we? The next close to Utils is utility. Meaning the use you make of something. It could abstract or concrete. You listen to some music and as a result you wind down, or are inspired, or you just pass time, you can say that you utilized, or maybe unutilized. So, we also have Utils and Unutils.  

You, like our lady, get down to a restaurant and you are allowed to utilize some entertainment. So, Utils can be said to have been achieved and, in if need be, paid for. But paid for, is not always a precondition for Utils to be realized. It is probably true that the best things are free. Aren’t they? Attempt by economists at the concept of Utils is, unless it is accompanied by standards, therefore void from the very beginning. If, for example, speak of 100 utils, is it high, low, average, skewed compared to something else.

The lady, so goes the story, had quite some choice descriptors that amazed all but the judge. Misery was the word that summed it up nicely. So, “what award do you wish for?”The judge was thundering numerous times. But the lady, for two stretching hours, continued in narration unhurried. When the judge was almost giving up, the lady already looked calm.

“I, she was emphatic, “want him to be home for dinner at least once in a week?”

“Awarded.”

As the judge replied he was glad to call the session but for the interruption of the lady. She was teary this time.

“Thank you judge,” she was sobbing staring at the judge, “for listening to me. I wish we could have more time.” She almost got cozy with the judge.

The same could be said of utils.

She, this lady, was using some measure to describe value, or lack of it. Should all utils be assigned numerals like two utils, three utils and so on? The measure chosen must have acceptable bench marks. Listing the benchmarks is, pun, always easier done than said. What does it matter she graduated from the Ivy League? Why are her utils pointed to the seemingly wrong directions? It is a long discussion that cannot justify the end. Cutting the chase, we can arrive at, utils never fit in the measurements’ vocabulary because of the intrinsic unpredictability of some descriptors.

“I however forbid from living in your present house and to move and live with him at least once per week.”

“I think you have also failed me.” the lady looked disappointed.

“I, the judge was emphatic, sympathetic and amazed, “thought I would help but you but I am unable.”

P.S.: No gender stereotypes were intended in this story.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: